So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
