There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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