I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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