3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
