I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
