I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
