Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
