ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
