we're blogging at a bar
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
