"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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