I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will be naked everywhere
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
