Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize