the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Girls should come with a carfax report
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
