Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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