i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
