he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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