I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
