Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
