Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize