There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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