I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
