My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
