i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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