Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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