She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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