ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
