Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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