I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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