Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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