My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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