when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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