She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
