i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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