Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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