girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
