he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
