Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am available for nakedness
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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