can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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