my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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