Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
