CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
