i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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