The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
