ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
