Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
