yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize