your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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