Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
