I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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