Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
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He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
