The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
