he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize