True but thats because hes a fetus.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
