I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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