So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
