Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize