I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Four minutes until I can fart!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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