I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
