so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
