She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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